Nollywood actress, Moji Afolayan-Olayiwola has been married to fellow thespian, film producer and director, Rasaq Olayiwola aka Ojopagogo for 13 years. The couple tell BUKOLA BAKARE how they have been able to sustain their home over the years as a couple in the same profession
Do you recall how you met your met?
Moji: We met during the course of our jobs in the film industry and if I can recollect, that was about 15 years ago. However, we courted for two years before we tied the nuptial knot.
Rasaq: We met at a movie location in Ibadan. We courted for two years and got married on December 4, 2004.
What were some of the qualities that endeared you to your wife?
Rasaq: I can’t really be specific in terms of the qualities that attracted me to her but as we continued the journey, I discovered many things that made it smoother- she is a godly person and a disciplinarian. She is also a very hardworking lady.
How would you describe your marital journey over the years?
Moji: I would attribute the success of our marriage to the God factor in our lives and give Him all the glory. He has been the foundation of our home and everything therein. Without him, we wouldn’t have been able to come this far.
Rasaq: Our journey has been smooth to the glory of God. There is a popular Yoruba adage that whoever wants to get married must be prepared for the task ahead. The Almighty God brought us together as one, we started the journey with him and he has always been there for us and we are thankful for that.
What was the feeling like when you became parents for the first time?
Moji: It was a wonderful experience and God has been able to help us in raising our kids in the way of the Lord. For instance, whenever I’m supposed to be on set, I always enlist the help one of our female apprentices who will come and stay with them for about four or five days while I am on set. My husband might be around at the time, especially when he is not on set at the same time with me but I just need an extra eye to look after the children.
Rasaq: Fatherhood has been a wonderful experience; especially when you have the kind of support structure that I have through my wife. I enjoy being a loving and responsible father as well as a doting husband.
What do you think is responsible for the spate of marital breakups these days and how can they be reduced?
Moji: In the first place, let me state that problems in marriages vary from couple to couple. Having said that, what I always tell people is that before embarking on the marital journey, put God first in all things and He’ll direct you in the way that you should go. After you have consummated your union, He should also be the foundation, centre and life of your home and He’ll surely take control of everything and there wouldn’t be any cause for alarm as you both go along in the marriage. If God is not present in a marriage, na real wahala at home (there will be problems in such a home) because marriage is not a bed of roses. You must be able to sacrifice in all things, not some things to make the marriage work. Sacrifice should be the key word here.
Rasaq: On my part, I would say that lack of trust and tolerance are contributory factors to the breakup of marriages. If couples can learn to tolerate and have implicit faith and trust in one another, they won’t have issues in their homes.
There are times when the both of you have to be on the same set to shoot a movie; how do you put aside your personal relationship and wear the toga of professionalism as actors?
Moji: When you call yourself a professional, you must be very good at what you do, irrespective of your personal relationship with someone on a particular set so there is usually no cause for alarm. When I’m on set with my husband, I no longer see him at that moment as my spouse because he has taken up another person’s character and he doesn’t see me as his wife as well. We act according to what the script says. After the whole acting stuff, we can now switch back to our husband and wife mode and that’s it.
Rasaq: For me, the feeling is always a neutral one because the script will always determine how we will act on set, even if we are both casted as a copy. At that point, the script is the most important thing when we are going on set, it is not about Moji or Rasaq because a job has to be done in the most professional manner as possible and that’s what matters the most.
How do you usually celebrate your wedding anniversaries?
Moji: We always celebrate them in a low-keyed manner because we are not loud people. For those who know me up close and personal, I hate noise and I am not the lousy type. Hence, we always celebrate very quietly. We could be in our living room with our children. We’ll eat, drink and make merry. We’ll also go to church to thank God in a thanksgiving service. Our wedding anniversary this year would be in December and we are looking forward to another memorable celebration by God’s grace.
Rasaq: Wedding anniversaries are always quietly celebrated for us. Nothing elaborate really.
What’s your husband’s favourite food?
Moji: My husband eats a lot- he loves to eat bread, wheat flour and other solid food spiced with well-prepared vegetable soup and assorted meat.
Rasaq: Just like my wife said, I love wheat flour, beans, fruits and vegetables.
Couples usually have squabbles and moments when they disagree; in your own case, who usually apologises first?
Moji: We always apologise to each other and end everything in the bedroom.
As a beautiful woman, how do you ward off advances from men?
Moji: Just like every other lady out there, I use God’s wisdom to deal with such situations and it works perfectly for me. I don’t have any problem with my male counterparts and I thank God for that.
How would you describe your personalities?
Moji: I’m a God-fearing woman, kind and very hardworking. I firmly believe in the power of prayers and I’m also an extrovert.
Rasaq: I’m an easy-going man and I don’t joke with my career so I always put my best foot forward at all times. I am gentle among my friends but delicate among my enemies. People often call me RR (Ruggedy Rasaki) because of my ruggedness and I don’t believe in impossibilities.
Your husband has carved a niche for himself in Nollywood as one who brilliantly pulls off the role of an old man in most movies, do you sometimes feel that he’s stereotyped?
Moji: I don’t think so because that is where versatility comes into play. If he accepts a script for instance, he is at liberty to play any role that he is given. Even though he plays the role of an old man most of the time, he still brings out the best of him to play other roles as well.
What would be your advice to prospective couples who are still in courtship/preparing for marriage and those who are already married in terms of keeping their homes?
Moji: For the unmarried ones, especially the ladies out there-if you want to get married, be prayerful. Put everything before God, let him direct and choose your partner for you and you will surely choose right. To the married ones, let me reiterate that marriage is not a bed of roses-it takes a lot of hard work and prayers to make it work. Hence, you must put in your very best to make it work.
Rasaq: Couples should endeavour to build their homes on love and trust but most importantly, put God first-they should seek the face of God before anything else.
Do you both keep a joint account as a couple?
Moji: No, we keep separate accounts.
How do you relax when you are not working?
Moji: When I’m at home, I watch a lot of movies, I play with our children and I love to cook for my husband. Those are the things that I do when I’m off the camera. I also unwind by writing scripts and I’m working on one at the moment.
Rasaq: I spend my free time with my wife and children because she doesn’t like noise at all-she is a very quiet and private person.
Your late father, Adeyemi Afolayan aka Ade Love was a great entertainer during his lifetime, what are some of the things that he taught you about life and the school of marriage?
Moji: I remember so many things about my father, he was a loving father and if I continue to eulogise him, I won’t stop. He was a man in a million. When he was alive, he advised me to look before I leap when I’m going to get married and I shouldn’t let my love be blind whenever I was going to choose a life partner and I adhered strictly to his words of wisdom and it worked out perfectly for me.
Should couples engage third parties when settling their squabbles or endeavour to settle them on their own?
Moji: I’ll give you a two-pronged answer- Firstly, I wouldn’t advice couples to call in a third party to settle their problems but all the same, they can’t settle all problems on their own. At such moments, they should look for people who are more knowledgeable than they are to help them out.
Which is more important in a marriage; finance or love?
Rasaq: I think both are important. However, money cannot buy love but love can buy everything.
Moji: Both elements are important to sustain a home but in the right proportion.
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