comment. ESCAPING THE TRAP I Am Phil McDonald, I Use To Be A Porn Addict, My Addiction Stated Back In My Secondary School Days When I Was In Jss3, It Wasn’t As If I Wanted To Watch It Intentionally But My Curiosity Got Into The Mess I Found Myself In Today Addiction, I Was Sitting In My Class Having A Gist With My Classmates, The Discussion Became Boring And We Found Ourselves Doing One Thing Or The Other But I Wasn’t Doing Anything, I Was Jus Looking Around Like A Dummy Ass, Until I Saw A Group Of Students All In The Corner Of The Class They Were All Looking Downwards Making Some Funny Sounds And Rubbing There Private Parts, And I Wanted To Know What They Were Doing, Yea Yeah I Was So Curios, I Went There, Climbed The Table And Behold What I Saw Was Too Heavy For Me To Digest Into That Small Brain Of Mine, That Was The First Time I Saw What A Female Was Like [There Nakedness] I Continued Watching Not Understanding What I Was Watching ,My Brain Trying To Interpret What I Was Getting Into0 My Hard Drive[Mind] For Some Minutes Before It Dawned On Me, It Was The Blue Film People Talk About, I Took My Eyes Off It And Was About Leaving When One Of My Class Mate Who Was Also Watching Saw Me Leaving And They Busted Into Laughter Drawing The Attention Of Others Watching And They All Started Laughing At Me, I Was Ashamed Of Myself, An D I Figured They Were Laughing At Me Because They Thought I Was A Novice Which I Am , I Was Just Trying To Be Among, And I Said Within Me “I’m Not As Novice, I Also Want To Be Among” I Said Within Me And I Went Back To Join Them They Were Ball Hailing Me And I Felt Fly You Know, I Had The Choice Of Leaving But Because Of Ridicule I Didn’t And Changed Me From That Day On , That Was The Day I Started My Walk Into Darkness. Later That Day Those Images Began To Replay In My Mind, Arousing Me That I Began To Masturbate,Later That Day Those Images Began To Replay In My Mind, Arousing Me That I Began To Masturbate, I Wanted To Stop But The Urge That Was Growing In Me At That Moment Was Overwhelming, This Continued For Days, Months, And Years, Though It Wasn’t Consistent But Whenever I Have The Opportunity To Watch It , Either The Full Porn Video, Or In Movies, Or Images, And At The Latter End i’ll Cry Like A Baby And Ask God To Forgive Me, But I Find Myself Doing It Over And Over Again Till I Got To Ss2, It Got To A Stage When I Collected People’s Phone The Next Place I Go To Is There Videos To See If I Can Find Any Porn Video To Watch, I Began To Feel Guilty, Depressed, I Began To Have Mood Swings, I Was Very Secretive That My Friends Who Watch It Do Not Know I Do Watch It, They Felt I’m Different That They Do Call Me Pastor, Neither Do My Parent Knew.I Wasn’t In A Situation Of “ I Don’t Know How To Come Out Of It” Of Course I Know, I Turn To Christ To Forgive Me And When That’s Done I Go Back To Square 1, It Became A Ritual For Me And I Took God For Granted, Thinking After All God Will Forgive Me. Oh I Didn’t Tell You I’m A High Fly Christian Who Held Prominent Post In The Church Of God, Lol You Can Imagine Me Committing Such Sins, Of Course I Read My Bible Sometimes But I Saw The Bible As A Suppressing Tool To My Problem.The Opposite Sex Became Something Else To Me, They Became A Sex Tool, Whenever I See Females All I Think Is The Sex Scenes I Saw In The Porn Video i’ll Lust At Them Looking At There Sexual Organs Imagining Me In The Position Of That Character I Saw In The Porn Video, It Changed My Mentality, But Whenever Females Come To Me You Know Trying To Make Friend, You Know As An Handsome Guy Lol,[This Is A Serious Matter Oo] I Wont Be Able To Look At Them , As If I Did Them Wrong Which I Did, I Lost My Boldness, I Began To Suffer From Inferiority Complex, I Couldn’t Stand Among Girls Even Males ‘Cos I Felt Intimidated, It Became Worse When I Got a phone.It Became Worse When I Got A Phone, I Don’t Download Them On My Phone As Others Do ‘Cos My Aunties Do Search My Phone, I Watch Them On Youtube, I Download Movies That Has Lot Of Sex Scenes In It, But Do You Know What I Do Pretend As If I Was A Saint, Yea It Was Very Sickening , I Listened To Songs That Portrays Sex,. Girls Became An Object, I Lost The View God Had Of Them Until I Went T A Seminar And Happened To Be Under The Ministration Of A Man Of God [Name Withheld] And He Was Also Talking About Pornography And He Gave A Particular Text Which Shook Me, Gal 6:7-10 Which Says “ Do Not Be Deceived God Is Not Mocked; For Whatever A Man Sows, That He Will Also Reap” And This Caught My Attention “ For He Who Sows To His Flesh Will Of The Flesh Reap Corruption [Destruction, Failure], But He Who Sows To The Spirit Reap Everlasting Life”. I Was Shocked It Was As If That Verse Was Talking To Me Which It Was. Furthermore, This Man Of God Stated Methods On How To Overcome Pornography Is To Tell It To Someone, I Already Did Before But I’m Doing It Again To Keep Myself In Check, Though It Was The Hardest Thing For Me To Do, But I Did And I’m Doing It Presently, I Know I’m Speaking The Mind Of Someone On This Platform, It Was Also By The Grace Of God. Some People Even Christians And Doctors Have Seen As A Normal Thing Some Doctors Would Ask You To Watch So It Can Improve Your Libido What An Arrant Nonsense , My Brother/Sister It Is Abnormal It Is Not Humanlike To Watch It Or Do It . I Thank God For My Life For Getting Me On Track, That’s My Own Story.
from Echo http://ift.tt/2fvoVr5
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