A former library attendant and telephone operator, Mrs. Esther Ibok, tells TOBI AWORINDE about her life and career
Where were you born?
I was born in a small town known as Upenekang in Ibeno Local Government Area of Akwa Ibom State. My village is a riverine area and fishing is the main occupation there. Since my village was small, we knew every family and there was a method employed for marriage during my time. Any man that approached you for marriage only needed to mention his family name and the proposal would be accepted. The two families would then meet and start the process. On the other hand, if the young man’s family had any problems, the proposal would be rejected. We used to be a close-knit village but that is no longer the case now.
When were you born?
My birthday is August 15, 1937, according to my father’s record. My father was a fisherman and a pioneer member of The Apostolic Church in my village. He kept important records of events in my family and the village. Incidentally, TAC came into my village the year I was born. At the time, there were no records of birth in my village, so my father’s record became handy for my use. When I needed a birth certificate, I had to swear an affidavit to use. I grew up in my village with my parents and maternal grandmother, who was staying with us in my parents’ house. My grandmother was a great influence on my life and those of my siblings. She was a wonderful woman that taught us some useful lessons of life.
What kind of childhood did you have?
My childhood was normal and nothing spectacular happened. My mother gave birth to seven children but unfortunately, two elder ones died, so I became the firstborn, instead of the third child. My father was a devout Christian who brought us up in the way of the Lord strictly. He always woke us up to do our morning prayer as a family. Being the eldest of the remaining children that my parents had, I had a great task of leading by example and my parents kept telling my siblings to see what their elder sister was doing and asking them to emulate me. That made me very conscious of my behaviour and environment. I could not do certain things that my age-mates were doing, so when I got married, I had to carry my four sisters to live with me in my husband’s house and that made us very close to date.
My parents and grandmother discouraged me from having friends. In fact, I still remember as a young girl in the village: whenever my mates were going to the stream to fetch water and I took my pot to go with them, my grandmother would send me back inside and it was when they were returning that I would be allowed to go for my own water. At that time, it was so frustrating to me, and I never liked that. I would have preferred to go with my mates, gisting and playing along the road. I always ended up going to the stream alone.
Of course, my siblings were not spared either because whenever they were asked to go to the stream, it was when other children had returned that they were released to go. At that time, I saw my mother and maternal grandmother as bad people, who never wanted me to enjoy myself. But today, I can see what they wanted to achieve and I equally used it as training in discouraging my children from keeping too many friends.
Didn’t you make friends in school?
When I started school, I had a few friends that I never brought home because of my parents, and because of the training I got from my mother, I could pick out good friends and stay away from the bad ones. Being the eldest child, most house chores were first given to me and the small ones given to my siblings. I also enjoyed fishing with my parents and, when we returned, we cleaned the fish for roasting. It was a tedious work but since I was born into it, I had no choice. I had very strict parents, though poor. Still, they did not trade discipline and contentment for any other thing. Though my parents were poor and not educated, they believed in sending us to school and did so for the five of us, up to Standard Six, which was the best they could do with the little finances at their disposal.
Even though my siblings and I couldn’t go beyond Standard Six, we are still very grateful to them for deeming it fit to send girls to school. Today, that little education helped us to get white-collar jobs and we can read and write. We are grateful for our parents’ efforts because there were other parents who didn’t see the need to send girls to school in our village at that point in time. But ours, though illiterates, saw the need and accomplished it.
Which schools did you attend?
I went to Ibeno Central School; it was one of the good schools then. We had good teachers and were taught well by them. Today, the proof that my school was good is the fact that I can read and write with correct tenses. But we all aware of the type of graduates that we have today and the type of letters they write. Some are not able to defend their certificates. Some graduates cannot write correctly or speak correct English. I do not know what is wrong with our educational system; sometimes, I think our children nowadays are not ready to study on their own and discover things. Children nowadays are seriously distracted in their academics because lots of things distract them and corruption has eaten deep into our educational system.
Even some teachers are not masters of their subjects, so they find it difficult to impact on the pupils.
Were you a school prefect or class captain?
I was neither a prefect nor a class captain in my school and that didn’t affect my academics in any way. I didn’t also envy those that were prefects or class captains. Instead, we looked up to them as our role models and admired them. The subject I enjoyed most in school was English and I understood it better than others. But mathematics was my worst subject and I wasn’t good at it at all, so I hated it. At that time, my school tuition was eight shillings and four pence. And in Standard Five and Standard Six, we paid 10 shillings.
That amount was very high for some of us, considering our parents’ financial capability and that was why our parents couldn’t pay for all of us beyond Standard Six.
While in school, I was never given pocket money, unlike kids of nowadays. In fact, I knew nothing about pocket money. I do not know if other parents then gave their kids, but in my family, we had no idea about such things. You know, we ate solid food at home before going to school, so we never needed money to buy anything in school to eat.
What did you do after primary school?
Like I said earlier, I couldn’t attend secondary school because of lack of funds. After my Standard Six, I left the village for Calabar, Cross River State, where I met my husband who was then a postmaster. I got my first job after marriage and it was as a library attendant. I wrote an application for the job in the Ministry of Justice and I was called for an interview. I went and was successful.
I started my first job on the December 2, 1972. I enjoyed it a lot because I was given training on how to receive books and arrange them on the shelves on behalf of the ministry. I worked very hard and got promoted in the course of the job.
After working as a library attendant for some years, there was vacancy for a telephone operator and I was picked to go for it because of my competence. It was a higher post than that of library attendant. On that job, I was given training regarding how to receive calls and the ethics of the job. This helped me to polish my English competence because I had to be receiving calls from very important personalities and courtesy was very important in this regard. I worked for years as a telephone operator and retired in 1995. I was so fulfilled because I had achieved what only educated people could do and I did it well with my level of education.
Is there any modern job that you would have loved to do?
If I was still young and had the opportunity to continue working, I would have loved to work in the mobile telecommunications industry today because at is digital. Digital telephony is easier to operate than the analogue in vogue then.
When did you get married?
I got married at the age of 19. My husband saw me on the road in Calabar and since we are from the same village, he called me by my native name and I turned but didn’t know him as a person. When he got to me, he introduced himself with his parents’ name and I knew his parents very well. We got talking and the rest is history. My husband is seven years older than I am. As a spinster about to wed, I never encountered any challenges because our wedding was not as elaborate as the ones nowadays. At that time, we only needed the consent of both families and the traditional and wedding ‘proper’ would follow immediately.
Did your parents agree?
Yes, my husband’s parents and my parents consented to our marriage because they knew each other well. Immediately after the wedding, I was sent to my husband’s station to go and start my life. There was no honeymoon because we didn’t know anything about that. I started living with my husband and, of course, got pregnant immediately and started having children.
How did motherhood change you?
Motherhood changed me a lot by making me more responsible and committed. I naturally loved sleeping a lot, but immediately I started having kids, I stopped sleeping the way I used to so I could care for my baby’s needs. The part of motherhood that I enjoyed most was bathing my babies, feeding them and rocking them to sleep. It gave me great fulfillment watching them grow up as the months and years went by. It is wonderful to behold babies growing up right before you. It gave me much satisfaction.
What important events in the country did you witness?
I witnessed two major national events, namely independence and the civil war. The independence was a very happy event for everyone, including my family. There were ceremonies which we went out to watch and enjoy. It was a good time for Nigeria as a country.
On the other hand, the civil war was the worst period of my life and my family life, including my young children then. I had four children then and they were all very young. I had to take care of them and running when bombs were thrown inside the thick forest. It was not a good time at all for me as an individual or my family because the suffering was too much. Protecting oneself and one’s kids at the same time was stressful and too much work.
War is not good for anybody and as such, I pray daily that anything that will bring war back to Nigeria, God should take it away and give us His peace.
What are your hobbies?
The only thing I can consider as a hobby is paddling a canoe and going fishing, even though I did it to help my parents to cater for our family needs. It was something I enjoyed doing in my spare time without being coerced. I stopped paddling canoes and fishing when I got married and left the village. Right now, I don’t think I will be able to do it again since I have left it for long. Even travelling by water in a canoe now might be a problem for me.
Do you have any favourite food?
My favourite meal is yam and plantain, as well as eba and soup. I can eat these meals repeatedly.
What were your expectations of old age?
I never expected to live this long; it is God’s grace that I am still alive, notwithstanding all the health problems that old age throws at me. What I like about old age is the fact that I am happy seeing my children all grown up and having their own children and their children also having their own kids. Being a great-grandmother has made me happy and I am grateful to God.
What is your most cherished feat in life?
It is seeing my children all grown up and useful. If the Lord calls me home now, I am an accomplished woman. My advice to children, especially young girls, is that they should not take for granted that their parents are able to send them to good schools. They should work hard to make good results, make their parents proud and build a good foundation for their future.
Also, young girls should listen to their mothers. This is very important because it is my mother’s words of advice that took me to the level of discipline I am today.
Copyright PUNCH.
All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH.
Contact: editor@punchng.com
source: http://ift.tt/2uTl180
http://ift.tt/eA8V8J