Parents express their views on the easier to raise between boys and girls with GBENGA ADENIJI
“If I have the opportunity again, I want my two kids to be girls, ’’ was the response of Mr. Festus Ogunkeye, when SUNDAY PUNCH asked him the easier to raise between the boy and girl child.
The 45-year-old physics teacher said he enjoys a good rapport with his girls unlike his younger brother whose boys give him troubles.
“I am not saying that girls are generally easier to raise than boys. But having seen some hassles boys give their parents, I think I am comfortable with girls. Some girls also give their parents problems, but averagely, girls are gentlier and easier to control. There is even a belief that girls care more for their parents in old age than boys. Environment and parental influences also play huge roles in how kids turn out later in life, ’’ Ogunkeye noted.
Ogunkeye’s view was supported by Mr. Shola Adebayo, who described his experience in raising his female children as enjoyable.
“For example, I have a boy and two girls. I feel happier having two girls because they are easier to guide because of their soft heart and meekness. I know it also depends on the parents. Female kids listen to their parents’ advice or instructions than boys, they have a listening ear. I prefer all girls as children because the only male I have is a problem. He is nonchalant and arrogant.
“Also, girls fear their parents and don’t like to incur their wrath unlike male kids who may not give a hoot about what one says. Girls always feel rejected when chastised by their parents and they try to avoid such a situation,’’ he said.
In his comment on a parenting website, a Professor of Psychology at the Virginia State University, Petersburg, David Stein, said every child is an individual.
Stein stated, “Environment plays a role too. There are differences in how we handle boys and girls right from birth. We tend to talk more softly to girls and throw boys in the air.”
On her part, Mrs. Bola Ajenifuja, said the biological features and natural soft outlook of girls, accounted for their easier raising compared to boys.
“From my observation, I think female children are always merciful. They are merciful in the sense that they empathise with their parents and discuss vital issues with them. They also help their parents in every aspect when they are needed. My first daughter used to have issues with her male friend in school who always disturbed her. I noticed her unease because of her mood at that moment. When I asked what was wrong with her, she discussed everything with me and I advised her on the proper thing to do. Unlike a male child, he will keep it a secret and won’t express his mind even if his parents are depressed about his mood,” she said.
She further said most female children would want to discuss their challenges with parents who consciously make them their best friends. “Even when girls become adults, their parents can still relate well and control them no matter where they are. My daughter borrows me money when I am in need but a male child will rather spend on something else than give it to his parents.’’
Another parent identified only as Mrs. Ajani, however, held a contrary opinion that girls are easier to raise than boys.
“I disagree that girls are easier to raise than boys. This is because female children are sometimes gullible in making decisions or taking some steps at certain stages of life,” she said.
Examining it also from a financial angle, Ajani noted that male kids don’t need as much clothes as girls. She said, “Raising a male child is less expensive when it comes to hygiene and clothing. Female children are more difficult to train, because they are usually under various dangers. They are also fragile both physically and emotionally. Their male counterparts sometimes hurt and oppress them.’’
A businessman and father of two kids (a boy and a girl), Mr. Chinagorom Fidelis, said he would choose the boy child over the girl any day in terms of the easier to train.
He noted that his son always opens up to him without hiding anything from him.
“My first child is a girl. She is 16 while my second child, a boy, is 14. The girl is full of pranks and can be hard to control most times. I am sure that she would have become worse if not for my no-nonsense stance. My son has shown me several times that boys are reliable. He does things that make me know that my diesel business is in a safe hand even if something untoward happens to me. Most daughters are hard to train. They can pretend to be innocent when in actual fact they are not, ’’he said.
A supervisor in a Lagos-based eatery, Mrs. Abosede Aina lent credence to Fidelis’ view when she termed her two daughters as mischievous. Aina explained that boys would naturally not pretend about anything unlike girls that are capable of giving the impression of saints.
She added, “Most girls are often opposite of what they appear to be. My first child is a boy and I understand him well unlike his two sisters. Boys will show who they are and the parents will quickly know the areas to work on. This is in contrast to girls who can give the impression of humility and gentleness because they don’t want to offend their parents whereas they are something else outside the home. Peer pressure can make girls worse as they mature so parents need to be extremely careful.”
For Mr. Tobi Adeoye, who has three sisters, he says, raising girls is a Herculean task. He said his father was strict with them when they were young because he didn’t want them to go astray.
Adeoye added, “As a kid, our daddy used to tell them that they must not play with any man or relate with them no matter what. I think this also depends on parents. My concern is about the issue of early pregnancy. There are many girls with teenage pregnancies in the Pedro area of Lagos. I think this is caused by the difficulties their parents went through when raising them.
“A male child may not be given adequate attention by his parents but he will survive the period of childhood compared to a female child.’’
He also argued that girls have a tendency of being wayward especially in Lagos.
“As a parent, I know that raising a female child has its attendant challenges like that of boys, but the former has more.
“Environment has always been a barrier to a female child’s growth because they can be easily swayed or influenced by the environment. To train a female child, a parent needs to be very strict and watchful in all aspects of daily life,’’ he noted.
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