Author of ‘Practical Steps to Financial Independence and personal finance coach,’ USIERE UKO, writes about the self-inflicted pressure arising from school fees we can’t afford
School resumption is not the best of times for many parents. While the child may be excited about moving to a new class, the parent may be wondering how the money will come together. Many parents are losing sleep, trying to figure out how to raise money to pay fees for the school they chose to send their children. Nobody put a gun to their heads. They chose the school out of their own volition. They are writhing with pain from self-inflicted injury.
I often wonder why parents send their children to schools they cannot afford. I have heard many excuses. They want to give their children good education. They don’t trust the quality of education offered by cheaper or free schools. They want to give their children opportunities they never had while growing up.
Trying to convince a parent otherwise is often a waste of time or energy, unless they have endured enough school fees-inflicted pain and are ready to do something different.
There is nothing wrong with wanting something better for your children. That is very noble indeed. It is how it should be. Things ought to get better, and not worse. But the issue is simple; can you afford it?
It is also painful for the child
Many parents are not aware of the pain the child goes through going to a school the parents cannot afford. It gets obvious very quickly that the child does not belong. Classmates and sometimes teachers rub it in at the earliest opportunity. When all you can afford is school fees, what about uniforms, books, school shoes, bags, sportswear, club dues, and school trips? Each time the list of students yet to pay up is called out, your child’s name comes up. The child takes the brunt of the consequences of the parent’s failure to meet up.
How does the child feel watching others do stuff while the parent keeps giving excuses? How does your child feel getting locked out of class due to late payment of fees? I heard a story of a child who was denied graduation gown due to non-payment of school fees. The child missed her high school graduation. How can the parents make it right? Arrange another graduation for the child? How will the child forget such humiliation in a hurry?
The child is made to suffer a huge dose of low self-esteem because of the sins of the parents. It is not a good feeling hearing your teacher and school authorities call your hard working parents irresponsible.
Self-inflicted suffering
Property owners, for inability to pay the rent, throw out some parents. Some have wrecked their businesses on the altar of paying high school fees. How does being perpetually under pressure serve? If you are struggling to pay primary and secondary school tuition, what happens when the child goes to the university? What message are you sending to the child regarding cutting your coat according to your cloth?
Regarding the quality of education, does going to an expensive school translate to success in life? Reality seems to show the opposite. If degrees are what makes a person or nation great, Nigeria would be a first world country. The fact that Nigerians graduate top of the class in the best universities in the world is yet to be translated to greatness as a nation. It is an established fact that emotional intelligence is a better indicator of success in life than academic intelligence. While we kill ourselves over good grades from good schools, we seem to neglect what matters most.
There is nothing wrong with getting one if you can afford it. However, killing oneself with financial pressure when academic intelligence is not the only success factor does not make much sense.
Focus on academics to the exclusion of other factors is an industrial age mindset. Many professions are becoming obsolete while many new ones are being born. If you are not careful, you may be killing yourself with stress and preparing your child for a world that no longer exists. The skills you need to succeed in today’s world are different from the 1980s and 1990s.
The assumption that your child will take care of you in your old age may no longer hold. Someone noted that children are getting more selfish as one goes from one generation to the other. Even when the child is inclined to support the parents, he needs to have a job, which is not guaranteed by expensive education.
You can always find your level
There are things parents can do if they feel the standard of education they could afford is not adequate. It ranges from getting a private teacher for the child, have one of the parents teach, or go online. The child can enroll on many online home schooling websites. Home schooling can also be an option if the child could enroll for certificate exams as an external student. There is always a way out when there is a will. What is important is getting the education the child needs, not how much you paid for it.
If all fails, missing a year is not a death sentence. Success in life is not based on first to finish school. Developing other competencies gives a competitive edge compared to finishing first while remaining immature emotionally.
At the end of the day, it depends on what you really want, and finding the right path to get there in one piece. We are all running an individual race. Where you start does not determine where you will end up.
For questions or comments, email usiere@gmail.com; to order the book, call or send a SMS to 0808 275 0980. You can visit http://ift.tt/1BzV7DQ . Follow me on twitter @usiere
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