Dear Bunmi, I’m a 24-year-old woman who has slept with a few men. My boyfriend and I have good sex, but I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. I’ve never really felt shivers down my spine, so what do you suggest I do? -Shalewa, by e-mail. Below is the reponse the lady got from popular s*x therapist and Punch newspaper columist, Bunmi. Dear Shalewa, Believe me, if you think you haven’t had an orgasm, you haven’t! Though some 10 to 15 per cent of women suffer from what is known as anorgasmia (the physical inability to orgasm), you are probably able to climax but just haven’t figured out what feels most stimulating to you. Keep in mind that a lot of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone. The rest need direct clitoral stimulation (with a hand, tongue or a vibrator). One trick experts suggest is to climb on top of your partner. You can get more pressure from his bone, and both of you have better access to your clitoris. The average woman needs 20 minutes of stimulation to reach orgasm. That’s a lot of foreplay! If you’re trying to get off with a quickie, you might as well be attempting the impossible. Instead, think your sexiest x-rated thoughts. Don’t underestimate the value of masturbation either. Spend some time really getting to know your clitoris without the pressure to perform. If you're in her shoes don't keep mute, find someone to talk to.. There's more to orgasmic stimulation ... Trust me!
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