Though he usually says he doesn't care about my self esteem but I don't think this has to do with self esteem alone. I think there is more. While we were dating we spoke about my sex life and body nature. It's not like I had too many relationships but I just knew men say my vaginal is kind of lax. Even wen I lost my virginity the guy called me a blunt liar to my face, saying I claimed to be a virgin when I wasn't.
You didn't bleed and getting in wasn't so hard. That is one ruined relationship that would have been awesome. And probably the last man standing. If you be virgin, you go know, if you not, you will know and I KNEW then that I was.
Now my husband knew this about my body and decides to stick with it. Somehow someway which I don't know after my first child, vaginal got tight, second child too same happened. To a certain extent it helped our sex life because it made him love it. And I could tell it's one of the reasons he probably hasn't cheated..
Just 2 days back. We had a little misunderstanding then I mentioned something about sèx. Quote me if am wrong. Sex is meant for bonding between a man and a woman and that's why God instituted it in marriage alone. So you both can get closer, and in my own opinion when there are issues BTW them the power of sex is to make forgiveness easy. The next thing my husband said is. It's not like am enjoying the sex. It's now feels like been in a pool.
OMG I was HURT. I lost the essence of life immediately, lost the essence of marriage. Out of anger I told him only men with big dicks should complain, men with pencils dares nor. That was my only defence because he said it with soooooo much heartlessness. I cried...i cried so much. This man that I have back sex with so that our sex life would be whole. Sometimes I bleed. Then I said to myself it's not worth it. Then I realised, For him if anything goes wrong with me due to that sexual style, Am on my own. Few hours later I sent him a text that I was sorry for everything not because it was easy but two wrongs never ever make a right in marriage. Can't walk away with two kids can only make it work.
Following day wen I saw he was in a good mood. I decided to ask, then he said I was lax and it has made sex unenjoyable. I wondered y he didn't tell me immediately he noticed and why he had to throw it to my face. But what, it's a man's world. If they don't reap their mean ways here on earth. It waits in heaven.
But trust me since then I have been concerned,Google all I could, nothing much. Even the kegel exercise has always been my practice. I now feel this time he might just look outside wen sex gets all pool like. He said he will buy toys, he said he can't pretend to love it wen he doesn't. Which I agree with. But even the toys can it ever be Like d real things. Sometimes he might want to feel the woman and not want toys. What happens next? I can't encourage him to cheat cos if he does and I find out I would leave with my kids. But I don't want him to. Am confused. So so confused. You know wen a man is concerned he will probably do research with you, find out info call doctors, but he didn't, he just broke the news to me and he's like do something about it or I might not be making out with u again. It's really not fair. Cos some men might possibly not go about it that way. But at the same time, it's like that's his nature. I can only Leave with it or take a walk. But take a walk to where, becos am now lax? But I also hear sex in marriage is KEY, with two kids, and I love him, but thatz still not the point. I DON'T know. Please who does? I have smiling all over the house, acting like everything is fine once am alone i cry again, because the fear is, would there ever be a solution , would I still be tight again, and this is a marriage where sex is sometimes 1 in 2 or 3 weeks, so definitely that's not the reason for my laxity, i will be sad if my marriage gets ruined because am lax.
